haywee(:

i wish i knew what to do. how to fix this. i hate seeing you in this funk, its not you, everyones worried, and all i wanna do is make it better and you wont let me. how the fuck did i become the enemy in all this? i love you so much it hurts. kills me to think that this could really be it. but i dont understand, you kiss me goodbye one day then suddenly everythings changed and im the last one to know. i do everything i can to make you happy, things i know i shouldnt. and its never going to be enough. iv lost what feels like everything lately. people i know consider amazing friends, my relationship with my parents, my faith in my dancing and now you, my best friend. i’m hurt, and i’m broken. but im still trying. thats our difference. you’ve hurt me in so many ways and its destroyed me. but i have so much faith in us that i wont give up on this. i cant. i was so happy, so proud of you just a few days ago. felt so lucky that my man was sticking by me and looking after me like i always wanted. thats all gone. ruined because you flicked the switch and didnt think twice. so i can safely say that you made this mess. you’re the one who needs to come grovelling back with some amazing one liners and “i’m so sorrys”. you ruined the little happiness iv felt in so long. i wanna ring your neck sometimes, but mostly i just wanna grab you and kiss the shit out of you. i keep thinking you’ll show up at my door and kiss me like in the movies and everything will be okay, but its not. and thats some stupid fantasy that will never happen. you were my superman. you were everything i ever wanted. but your weak, and your selfish, and you’re giving up on me when you promised you never would. so i feel like i dont even know who the fuck you are right now.